I am a Sexual Assault/rape/Sexual Harassment survivor, domestic abuse survivor by my father/friends. and a survivor to abuse of intimidation/harassment/controlling/bullying behaviour.
Each day i have to tell myself it will get easy but it will take time. Time is the key to recovery, flashbacks is a form of healing. Never let anyone tell you that it is your fault, even if you drank. It is no excuse for behaviour like that.
Years i had grew up being abused and years trying to come to terms with but enough is enough.
*Domestic abuse = Physical, Disabled Hate Crime, Financially Exploiting me, Neglecting me when needed dressing for my burn wound but instead hurt me
* Bullying – Autistic disabledist names, false accusations against me for something i did not do.
* Sexual Assault – inappropriate touching
* Pinned to a wall against the school for telling them that the escort was hurting the children on the bus
* Physically abused – college would not take it seriously and threats to involve the police but had to get the Disability discrimination adviser in because i was bullied so much with physically that it broke my mental health down and i was suicidal and psychotic at the time.
* Threatened to be beaten up
* Raped twice in my life
* Stranger danger- nearly put myself at risk at neighbours flat. A not very nice area full of drugs, alcoholics and threats that i was so vulnerable a day i was to focussed on finding my bookcase that never arrived that he approached door told me to go in and i started feeling uneasy as he was trying to distract me from my question. He told me to sit down but i was not feeling safe and left the building. I was so so scared.
* Sexual Harassment
* Controlling/manipulative/defamatory behaviour
I am marked down as being substantial in the abuse area by social services but i do not feel protected. Police letting you down all the time because you have disabilities. Because you are trying to survive it is like they do not want you to survive.
The easy option yes maybe to call the police but are u going to want to if u feel like they let u down. that you are supposed to feel protected but letting the most vulnerable down. You feel as you are not believed because you are guilt tripped into making you believe its all your fault that you bought it on. But it is not our fault! We should not have to put up with this and i will not stand for this.
Nowadays i have been so many times been abused that i will not take any stand for any kind of behaviour by anyone. But i am extra hypervigilant to protect myself from anything further happening.